You might want to skip this post if you’re looking for the latest Benya headlines and what’s going on in the outside world around me. Most of these thoughts come from the internal psychological safari that I’ve been on for as long as I can remember.
If for some odd reason you’ve been reading this blog and haven’t ventured onto the UBC website there provided by ←THAT link there, I grieve for you (an exaggeration of course, but I do hope that I can grieve because our world has TOO MANY links, i.e. we are oppressed by the immense number of decisions we have to make because there are TOO MANY choices…again in another post, not this one).
If you’ve neglected the left side of this page though you are truly missing out on an incredible benefit to this life of yours. If you click UBC and navigate through to the sermons page the book of your life can open to a whole new chapter. You can have the beautiful opportunity to hear all that is Josh Carney, the new teaching pastor at UBC.
I glorify that man right now because he is the reason I write right now. I just listened to the latest sermon at UBC (which is so creatively titled “Parents Weekend”, that is almost as creative as another UBC great, David Crowder Band). To expand on that, I’m quite disappointed in that title Benjamin Dudley. I thought it was quite a brilliant masterpiece, yet the Podcast title isn’t even grammatically correct.
I write right now, even though I’m to wake up in 2 hours to go feed street children addicted to a drug with Boniface, followed by a full day where I go for a evangelism conference and am to preach tomorrow afternoon, because I was just inspired by my community. Through his fast paced, engaging, heart-wrenching, inspiring, table turning Zion song of a sermon he preached, I decided to sing a song right now, even though I probably won’t sleep until another 24 hours.
I think that through his sermon, I got to know myself a little bit better. I think that through his sermon, I learned more about the song that I sing that brings me to my Creator. I think that through his sermon, and I learned that I was different, I learned that I do things differently, but that’s ok and that I can make it following this Teacher of ours(by doing things differently, run on sentences is included).
I’m writing this right now because I think I’m a 150%-50% person. I waste a whole lot of time. A lot of times, I only run at 50%. I don’t know if it’s a lack of discipline or if its just another few good months and years of maturing that I have to do. I think that sometimes that I just kind of kick back and take the trolley of life until the next big adventure comes up. And if there’s work to be done, I’ll wait until my spirit is adventurous enough to do it.
But the other half of my time (making this description numerically equal) of the time I’m 150%. I’m extremely efficient, productive and in my element. I can work no matter the hour, for example now, its 2:30 a.m. and I’ve been up 20 hours. Of course this writing could all be rambling rubbish, but I think I’m getting something out of pounding these keys.
So many times I compare myself to others and get down on myself because I just don’t feel productive. I just don’t feel like I’m making good use of my time and don’t feel like I’m squeezing all the juice out my fruitful life. Maybe though, I don’t produce through a slow moving juicer that’s slowly squeezing a multitude of fruits. But maybe I release my nectar all at once, after I’m fully ripened, like the handheld juicers.
I’m sure there are many more dimensions to my situation. I just found shalom though this moment where Holy Zion resounds off these lips.
So that is why, if you’ve made it this far in this latest long-windedness, these blogs probably come sporadically and always exceed 1000 words. The time in between I’m just trying to get a big breath in again because I’ve already breathed the rest out. I do hope though that my lungs learn to fill a little faster. My spells of idle productivity can be a bit depressing.
We could probably pull out our Africa card at this point. It’s about time to start applying these ideas to the giant continent of mystery I currently reside on. Perhaps when we come to Africa to “fix” things we should learn that cultures are different. And we should embrace the fact that their way of doing things is just as beautiful as our way of doing things. They make take longer to do a certain task, but that doesn’t mean the juice they’re producing isn’t as sweet. What if we started to embrace cultures that a different than ours, instead of trying to replace it with our own conquering culture. Maybe our culture and out system of beliefs isn’t any more right than theirs is. I see the negative effects of where this mentality was present many times in the spectrum of Church.
HIV is engulfing this nation as well as this continent. Poverty is unbelievable. For every one person that I meet that makes more than 4 or 5 dollars a day I meet 30 people who make less than a dollar a day. But where is the church in all of this? The church addresses personal sin and personal redemption which is great, but what about these social issues. What about this: Woe to you teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill, and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel (Matthew 23:23). (If the Carne Dawg has really inspired you to sermonize check out Rob Bell from Mars Hill Bible Church’s latest sermon Gnats and Camels. He’ll explain it all for ya.)
Now remember, I’m a searching wrestling 21 year old so really, I don’t know that much; i.e. don’t take this with just a grain of salt, but a whole tin of it. When I look at how some of the traditional African customs are lived out I see something that closely correlates with teachings of Jesus. There are no orphans or widows who are left to fend for themselves. Sure many of the violent traditions are evil, but so many of their traditions are so good. Social issues are on the forefront in African culture, but now I see in many churches they aren’t even talked about at all. City Harvest is surely an exception. But I’ve interviewed about 50 men and women who are HIV+ and maybe 3 or 4 have told their church bodies. Something is seriously wrong here. Where did such teachings come from?
I also write right now, because I just simply have a great desire to. I knew a few sentences of a few paragraphs, but when I sat down and typed, much wiser wisdom (except for the wisdom of better word choice obviously) filled all the holes in between my thoughts. Something was created in this practice of writing. Sure the crop may not be that enriched, but I’m at least starting to practice the farming of written ideas. This inspiration came from the knowledge and wisdom that Parents Weekend was packed with. These brilliant ideas and theories presented and I just had to be a part of that process. Sure none of the ideas on this page are at all very revolutionary or are anything new, but I just wanted to participate in something like that. The scholars mentioned didn’t just learn A then learn B and AB came out. These scholars studied and studied, but creation didn’t take place until they processed their learning, deconstructed and constructed the puzzle pieces of different ideas, and C was a result of idea A and idea B.
So I’m going to sing this Zion song with hopes that it fits a somewhat adequate model of worship. I’m going embrace the talents I’ve been given, but not compare and desire other people’s talents or how they do things.
Thanks Carne Dawg, for picking up your music pick, and guiding me and directing me to sing this song.
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